June 29, 2008 - The day I lost you
After almost four months, I remember you.
For your silence.
For being the quiet, almost passive person that you were.
For your thick glasses.
For being ticklish.
For being so sensitive whenever I tickled you.
For staying in your room, watching TV all afternoon.
For the countless cups of hot chocolate you never forget to give me for breakfast in Batangas.
For being bolero when I asked you if you were ever in love with any other woman other than Inay.
For being cheerful.
For your sweet and childish smile.
For your really white hair.
For asking me to pluck all the white strands of hair on your eyebrows.
For the sweet mangoes you harvest every summer.
For waking up early to check on your pets.
For your silly looking polos and shorts.
For always taking care of me when I stay in Batangas for vacation.
For giving me your coins whenever I wanted to buy dirty ice cream, softdrinks and fish balls.
For all the Antipolo masses we've been to together.
For the stories Mommy told me of how strict a dad you were.
For the Pierre Cardin watch I always wear that should have been yours.
For the holidays we've been together.
For being the first person I go to and hug tightly upon arriving in Batangas.
For the war and post-war stories you told me.
For your chronic kidney disease.
For the last June 28 I'll ever be with you.
For the Lucena hospital you were confined in.
For the last 1-hour of being alone with you in the hospital room while Mommy, Inay and Ninang Beth heard mass.
For being so strong despite the effects of your strong medicines.
For the experience of having to feed someone through a tube.
For feeling so scared of losing someone I love so much.
For staying up all night just to watch over you.
For my first ever ambulance ride.
For sitting right next to your head in the ambulance on our way home to Batangas.
For denying the fact that you were not breathing anymore even before we reached the house.
For holding back my tears in the ambulance, trying to be strong for Inay who sat behind me.
For opening the door as soon as the ambulance stopped in front of the house.
You fought a good fight for everyone you love. And you will forever be remembered as the man of few words, who knew when to say the right things.
I never thought I would miss someone this much. I have been a complete mess during the first semester of my senior year. Every single event just kept playing in my head like it was yesterday.
Things will never be the same again. You may not be with us physically, but you will always stay in our hearts. Don't worry Tatay, I'll pay you a visit soon. And I'm always praying for you. I love you dearly. May you rest in peace.
walked on runway at 5:27:00 PM
